Early Man

From Wallace and Gromit creator Nick Park, who’s tackled chickens and sheep, comes this prehistoric animated comedy that’s simplistic and unfunny to the point of being irritatingly obvious, including a joke where a woman raises her hands over her head and comments, “It hurts when I do this,” for the expected response: “Then, don’t do that!” Cave dwellers discover futbol by kicking around a meteorite but must rediscover their skills to prevent losing their valley to Lord Nooth and his Bronze Age warriors! The only memorable scenes involve caveboy Dug preferring to hunt wooly mammoths instead of rabbits, a carnivorous duck and carrier pigeons repeating every nuanced phrase uttered in their presence. This should’ve been a DC Comics Anthro movie!