Dead or Alive Freak Just Dead Now

The plastic surgery disaster known as Pete Burns, lead singer of the ‘80s dance-pop act Dead or Alive, is now officially just dead, having succumbed to a bad case of cardiac arrest on October 23rd at age 57. The only thing more shocking than the fact he was still alive at all were the photos of the grotesque freakmonster into which he’d transformed in the decades since the band had its hit, 1984’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record).”

Clearly a mentally disturbed individual, the onetime cast member of the Brit version of Celebrity Big Brother devolved into what appeared to be a crackhead drag queen cross of Angelina Jolie and Michael Jackson at his most hideous. Did no one consider pulling Burns aside to clue him in that this probably wasn’t the best idea? He suffered from blood clots and blocked arteries as a result of the deliberate cosmetic deformities.

But let’s not judge or use any triggering gender terminology, heaven forbid.