Last Christmas

The soundtrack to Last Christmas is a perfect collection of George Michael’s finest songs. The actual movie is literally the worst holiday film ever made. That’s in the most literal sense of “literally,” since screenwriter (and supporting actress) Emma Thompson couldn’t come up with a better idea than to directly translate the lyrics of “Last Christmas” into this horrifically bad production. (Her husband shares the shame in his first “story by” credit, but Emma might as well have brought in that little robot girl from Small Wonder.) The film briefly seems promising as a Mamma Mia!-styled romantic comedy. Then bumbling bad girl Emilia Clarke goes out on her first night through London with mystery man Henry Golding, and the audience knows what’s going on within five minutes of them walking down the street. That’s assuming anyone will be stupid enough to buy a ticket after quickly figuring out everything from the trailer. From there, Last Christmas is a grueling march as viewers wait to have their worst suspicions confirmed. The only saving grace to Last Christmas is that Golding’s character doesn’t end up being related to the only other Asian in the cast. There’s still a lot more idiocy to endure – including a weird notion to set the story in 2017 without once acknowledging that the character who’s totally obsessed with George Michael is also observing the first anniversary of his death. Meanwhile, the original music video for “Last Christmas” goes ignored as a fine template for an old-fashioned movie in the style of Love Actually.

[PG-13]