Unfriended: Dark Web

In case you’re not totally sick of living in a society where you’re constantly having to check your cellphone every few seconds to get the latest news or to see an inane post of someone’s selfie/picture of their food/latest irrelevant opinion on social media, you can pay money to “escape” to the movies for a spell and witness characters you don’t give a damn about in a nonsensical “horror” story about doing basically same exact thing. This is literally what happens in Unfriended: Dark Web. It’s a ridiculous, unnecessary horror sequel from Blumhouse, a production company that just keeps shitting out so much cheese as of late. A teenager comes into possession of a new laptop computer that he doesn’t realize is stolen property. He then discovers over time that the previous owner is actually watching his every move and will do anything to get the laptop back. This movie isn’t one of those “it’s so bad it’s funny” kind of movies, it’s just bad. At least if you have a MoviePass you won’t spend a whole lot on this one, you’ll still have some money left over for condoms to snort and Tide Pods to eat.