Eminem – Kamikaze

Eminem has released a “surprise” record for his fans called Kamikaze, which makes it his ninth major label solo studio album, but not without any controversy, which is typical of his “Slim Shady” persona. On the new record, grumpy grandpa Marshal Mathers, who is about to be 46 years old, calls Tyler, The Creator a “faggot” and a “bitch.” So gangsta. He then goes on to call a plethora of this generation’s hip-hop stars (all younger and darker than himself) out for being inferior to him.

Drake, Migos, Lil Yachty, Lil Pump, Lil Wayne, MGK are all attacked on the record. It seems Eminem is an angry, middle-aged white man full of bitterness and resentment that just can’t seem to let things go. You’d think if you had millions of dollars you might be able to spare some of that money for some really decent therapy. I mean, that’s what I would do, but this guy is literally pissed off at everyone and everything. He has a lot “me” problems/issues that he tries to deflect onto others – “the problem isn’t me, it’s all these shitty rappers, music journalists, and Donald Trump.” It’s just a shitty attitude to carry around. I like songs about stuff, not diss tracks and deflections about putting down other people in order to make someone look/feel better. Eminem, quite frankly, is an immature bully.

Eminem renews his attacks on President Donald Trump as well, whom Kamikaze is presumably named for given that in 2017 Eminem tweeted that the president was “a kamikaze that’ll probably cause a nuclear holocaust.” What an edgelord. He attempts to lamely diss the president on the opening track, “The Ringer”: “Agent Orange just sent the secret service,” he raps. The funniest thing is Eminem can’t even get a response from Trump, and Trump responds to EVERYONE. Also, Eminem fails to realize his own similarities to Trump. They’re both arrogant, thin skinned, and seem to hold long, resentful grudges. He also seems to believe, much like “The Donald,” that no publicity is bad publicity, so he’s not afraid to stir up shit. I mean, has there ever been an Eminem album release that wasn’t controversial? Eminem and Donald Trump are cut from the same cloth, so it’s just funny/ironic that Eminem has to criticize him. And what a lame/safe/easy target, BTW. But would do you expect from a guy that’s made fun of/went after lame/safe/easy targets in his whole career (Paris Hilton, Moby et al)? Keep in mind, too, that Eminem wouldn’t give Weird Al permission to parody one of his songs. What a little baby. This perpetually insecure turd can dish it out, but he certainly can’t take it.

Listening to this record is like finding a flip phone in a junk drawer and realizing the late 1990s/early 2000s were only just mediocre at best. Sometimes you just gotta move on. Flip phones were really innovative when they came out, but my phone now can play movies. Yeah, mumble rappers suck, but I don’t need Eminem calling them all bitches and faggots to come to that conclusion.