The Meg

Popular action star Jason Statham plays expert sea diver and former Navy Captain Jonas Taylor, who supposedly encountered an unknown danger in the unexplored recesses of the Mariana Trench that forced him to abort a past mission and abandon half his crew some five years ago. The incident earned Taylor a dishonorable discharge which ultimately cost him his career and his wife. His unsupported claims of what caused the incident: an attack on his vessel by a mammoth, 70-foot sea creature, a Megalodon Shark (Megalodon literally translates into “big tooth”), believed to be extinct for more than a million years. But when a submersible lies sunk and disabled at the bottom of the ocean – carrying his ex-wife among the team onboard (so over-the-top stupid!) – Taylor is the one who gets the call to save the day (no way!). I hate to use the term “popcorn flick,” but that’s exactly what this movie is: a total “popcorn flick.” To make matters worse, it’s a homogenized, factory-produced “popcorn flick.” Instead of Warner Bros., it’s like Costco put this movie out for its dumbass, fat-ass, white-ass, weak-ass honky executive members to buy up instead of a 16-pack of toothbrushes. Such a dumb and pointless movie, not even funny-dumb.

[PG-13]